I have a 'Death Doula' tight

Doulas have become an increasingly normal part of the birth. These assisted assistants help to offer emotional and practical support in the run-up to and after the birth-in one person in an impression for women.

And now Doulas are growing more and more to support people through the other great transition in life: dying.

While housekeepers support physical and medical needs such as the production of meals, the provision of personal care and the dying of medication, Doulas offer non-position at the end of life, they offer emotional, practical and even spiritual support.

Her role was brought to public awareness in April last year when the former leader of the Green Party, Caroline Lucas, left Parliament to train as one.

Alexandra Hobbs, 60, a media lawyer from the southwest of London, remembered the new direction of the MP when her mother Meryl (91) became more fragile.

“I knew about Caroline Lucas, so I looked it online,” says Alexandra.

“My mother had diagnosed bladder cancer in the Lockdown, and then she broke her hip. She was double incontinent and couldn't get around. But she didn't want to move to a nursing home. '

Meryl lived only ten minutes away, but with a 13-year-old son and a sophisticated job, Alexandra was worried about the burden to take care of her alone.

Then she found Helen Jenner, a Doula and a nurse at the end of life in her 60s who lived on site.

Alexandra remembers: “Helen did not talk about dying or cancer or the like. She was led very much by my mother – it was more like a friend to visit. She would do her nails to help her to work and just be next to her, to stay next to her. '

She adds: “When she came by for the first time, Mama Helen was really rude – she was always suspicious of everyone I brought into her house – but at the end of the meeting she said:” Okay, I like you very much “.

Then Helen came twice a week. “She would make sure that mom wore a nice cardigan, spray perfume on her wrists or helps with care,” says Alexandra.

“Mama could no longer move to make her hair and it was matted. Helen told us about these shampoo caps, which they can buy online, which makes the hair moist so that you can blow -dry it.

“Mama really cheered it on and it was the kind of additional note for which I would not have had time because I made all her food, her laundry and her toilet.”

Helen also provided emotional support. “Sometimes I would be next to me and wines about mom – and Helen would calm me down,” says Alexandra.

“It was such a pressure valve because you know that your parent dies, but there is still so much to do. I could call Helen and talk about terror, the exhaustion and responsibility that I felt and so thinly stretched – and also the sadness and fear of seeing mom dying.

As with many death doulas, Helen has not charged her support.

Emma Clare, 34, from York, heads the membership association at the end of life Doula UK.

“Many choose to voluntarily report their services, others charge an hourly rate of 25 to 35 GBP,” she says. “However, if long support sits at night, this is adjusted and agreed with the person and your family.

'Doulas can also offer independent support in the sorting of the documentation [such as advance-care planning]which is usually a defined costs for the entire process. '

Emma, ​​a psychologist, trained a Doula in 2017 at the end of the service life after working as a budget supervisor for terminally ill people.

“What I hadn't recognized when I took the job was how many people would be in the last weeks of life. It was a bit shocked, but I realized that I really enjoyed spending time with them,” she says.

“There is a misunderstanding that we are somehow woo-woo or anti-medical, but are actually many of us or were doctors, nurses and midwives.

“We often describe our work as a filling of the gaps with a mixture of practical and emotional support.

“At the end of life, some people fight with the administrator – e.g. the coordination of the various services, from palliative care to social workers when someone dies at home – others only need someone with whom they are neutral. Doulas at the end of life do not offer medical support or personal care such as washing,” she emphasizes. Instead, her training focuses on being able to talk about death what Emma says “to reduce the fear and fear of people”.

“I worked as a supervisor myself, and that is definitely not something that the supervisors receive, so often they have understandable difficulties to talk about it.”

There is clearly a necessity for more support – estimated 1.5 million older people have an uncovered need for care, whereby the number will increase to 2.1 million by 2030.

The deficit affects GPS, whereby many are asked to take over lifelong administrators for older people and to accept calls from lonely patients and concerned relatives. This could help explain the constant increase in those who have contacted the End of Life Doula UK since 2018.

And now the NHS is looking for the use of Doulas at the end of life for terminally ill patients.

A pilot program, which was supervised by NHS West Yorkshire Integrated Care Board by NHS West Yorkshire, ran from May 2022 to September 2024 and made £ 50,000 to finance 1,500 hours of Doula support at the end of life. “This ranged from only the last days and hours of life to people who received over two years of support,” says Emma, ​​who was one of the ten Doulas on the program.

A similar project – but with fewer funds – ran to the London districts of Kingston and Richmond between September 2023 and December 2024.

There is currently another program in Sutton and Merton, in which the end of the end of the Doula UK's end of life, there is 500 hours of free support over three months.

The results of the pilot Leeds show that 85 percent of the people supported by a Doula died in their preferred place. (The latest official figures show that only 53 percent of people die from their choice all over England, while research often indicates a non -agreement between the number that wants to die at home.)

Significantly, only 13 percent of people who received Doula support had an unplanned admission to a hospital in the last 90 days of life – in contrast, the latest state figures in the last days of life show at least unplanned hospital income.

Emily Heritage, a nurse of the district and the head of the end of life, the breaking of the Kingston Hospital, referred between 20 and 30 patients to Kingston and Richmond Pilot, where 11 Doulas worked on it. While the pilots' results are only published later this month, Emily says: “It was absolutely amazing”.

“It definitely contributed to dying patients from the hospital when they didn't have to be there. It had a special influence on the nights – this is often when families are panicked, especially when the breathing of a loved one slowed down. 'She adds, while many nursing staff are brilliant, they are often young, without much death experience.

“You may not know that gaps between breathing mean that it is not long left while death is not scared at the end of life,” says Emily Heritage.

“It makes such a difference to have someone with this knowledge-it is about making the transition as peaceful, dignified and painless as possible.”

However, the program was not revised. “It is difficult because it brought so much comfort and calming, but you can't really quantify that financially,” says Emily Heritage.

For Alexandra, it was invaluable in the last few weeks of her mother to have Helen at the end of the phone.

“Helen explained the stages of the dying person, whom I knew – hurt to become more, to sleep more and to reduce the appetite,” Alexandra recalls.

Meryl's cancer came in July 2024, whereupon Helen came up with it more often-at that time she also had a full-time residential engineer and cost more than £ 1,000 a week.

“I found that I needed Helen more to speak at the end, as the dying process is pulled out and not what they expect,” says Alexandra.

“Helen and I talked about the spiritual side of death and life after death.” Emma explains: “Not everyone wants spiritual support, but we can make it available.”

She trained with the organization, which dies well-certified Doula training program at the end of life in Great Britain. It takes about two years and includes “many case study work and self -reflection on her own experiences with grief and attitudes to death,” she says.

Maybe not surprisingly, Emma's job made it more comfortable to die.

“It's not always nice, but the vast majority of deaths I saw was gently,” she says.

“People had the time to bind loosely ends and say what they want to say.”

Meryl, a former designer for jewelry and garden who once worked for Vogue, died on September 22nd of last year – just as she had hoped for.

“I could give her what she wanted,” says Alexandra. “But that would not have been possible without a team around me.

“After mom died, I stayed with her and held her hand for about 12 hours. We have a glass of wine and your favorite pudding.

“It was not scary or medicalized and I am so grateful for it. As my mother said a few months earlier:” If you hold my hand. I won't be afraid “.”