The fear of other people's opinions almost killed me. Here is what freed me.

After I had been released from the military because I was looking for the treatment of mental health and dealing with the operation around the residence to recover, I wasolated in guilt, shame and exhaustion.

Despite my operation program, which repeatedly told me that he was not disappointed by me and when I decided to deal with another specialty in which I could better take care of my health, I felt worthless and like a complete failure.

Although I may not have disappointed him, I undoubtedly disappointed the other residents, whose life was negatively influenced by my departure, because the work I would have done to distribute them. It is important to me how my departure affected by those who have accepted more work in my name, and I'm deeply sorry that they had the consequences of my career turn switch – an Algian residence is difficult enough with all hands on deck.

However, my guilt and shame did not reduce the workload for these people. It led me to isolate me and almost starve to death, which I could see more clearly afterwards. At that time I was dissociated by myself and so full of self that I did not have the energy to intervene in my slow decline when I observed how I gave hope and the desire to live.

My value and my self -awareness were so closely associated with my career and my opinions that I had almost killed myself that they were released from the military and changed the career. If we know the intensity of the pain, we can help as a result of Stigma for mental health, loss of career, financial uncertainty as well as life and career transitions to help others today. If you are in the middle of the thick, I hope that you use my words to know that you are not alone and this pain will reduce over time when we get back the stories and back what is really important – your life is top priority.

Nothing in your career is more important than your life. Nothing.

Despite ubiquitous moments of apathy, I held just enough hope (much of others borrowed) to use my low point to push oppressive and harmful social news on the way.

One of the most decisive moments in my recovery, which helped me to let go of the fear of the opinions of other people, was when my article “I risked my career to save my life” on Kevinmd. I started to submit articles about KevinMD that represented the content that I most shame. I provided the information I wanted to go into the world if I died. Apathy worked in my favor when I led me to be vulnerable and released the words without filtering. Feedback that I received often included words around me that were “brave” or “brave”, but the reality, my apathy and my belief that I can die at any moment motivated me to get the words with less shit to give what people say about me if they read it.

My main motivation was that parts of my stories could save someone, and I didn't notice that someone would include me.

The shares of my stories and support lifted the shame that had progressed in secrecy and isolation. In addition, I helped me to accept my mortality as I did head-on, authentic and this was the advantage of survival of life-threatening exacerbations in my condition. Although it took a few times until I decided to live differently after I hit the low point, I hope that you can get the lessons in your life and apply to your life without having to learn on the hard tour. We don't always get another chance.

Interestingly, I have swung my career several times since my operation. Every step brought me closer and closer to an authentic life that has an effect in the way I want to have an impact in this world. A colleague described me as the “professional twistant”, and it meant a lot when I thought about how different I felt for myself during the career transitions when I did the operation.

The main differences for me initially emerged to lose my value from my career titles and tours. When I was sitting on my nearby deathbed, my references weren't there to comfort myself. They couldn't save me. The next phase of healing came from the detachment of the fear of the opinions of other people. I guess what people think and different perspectives, and I am no longer afraid when people reject me or criticize myself because I have recognized this reality:

People's opinions to us can be seen through their own lenses due to their own prejudices and a little insight in our lives that we allow them. Our perception of what others think about us reflects our own prejudices, experiences and beliefs about ourselves.

It is natural to appreciate acceptance and approval, since we are evolutionary in the community (despite social pressure that promote individualism, which is harmful and an issue for another day). However, my trust in the opinions of other people and the need for external confirmation was excessive because I had come to the assumption that my own opinion was less important and that my voice had lost on the way.

The development of the mind of a beginner, which was based on curiosity, compassion and non -judgment, helped me learn how to hear other people's opinions without feeling like a personal attack and a threat to my self -perception. The shift made it possible for me to be more open to the opinions of others without fear that my value is at stake.

Ultimately, I think that the best way to protect us from rejection, judgment and criticism from others from the spiral is to justify us in a friendly, loving relationship with ourselves – knowing that your life is important, your voice is important, your opinion and other people know very little about you. We spend our whole life to get to know ourselves. Why do we do so much to those who deal with us for very short moments?

If you are stuck and are held back from the fear of other people's opinions, I invite you to ask the following: Why is your opinion about you more than your opinion about you?

It is a simple question, but there is often a lot to disappoint. I urgently encourage you to work with a therapist, trainer and/or a trustworthy friend, while shinging the layers of social messages that mislead you and find your way back to yourself.

They are important and they are a fulfilling life that is loyal to them – I don't need their curriculum vitae to know that.

And another memory: nothing in your career is more important than your life. Nothing.

Jillian Rigert is a specialist for oral medicine and radiation oncology Research Fellow.