Dear Abby: Coercional drinker for blown alcoholics after the husband's death, and things become scary

Dear Abby: I have known “Sheila” for 30 years. We were once dear friends. She was always a social drinker. Twelve years ago she lost her husband through cancer and began to drink increasingly heavier. Sheila is now an alcoholic. Friends and family have tried to help her many times. She went to rehab twice to appease her daughter. She tried Aa, but said she was not comfortable there. She had an in-home program for months, but only went through the applications until it was finished.

In the past three years, Sheila has passed out, fell and smashed and accidentally burned down her house. She was taken to the hospital several times by the ambulance and recently received her second DUI conviction. My problem is that she calls me every week to look for various everyday topics that nothing happened. When I try to talk about her problems, Sheila says that she is suffering and will do it better and then change the topic. Our conversations make me sad and angry.

Should I finally confront them or just cut them out of my life? I tried to take care of and support myself when most of your other friends have written off her, but I'm ready to give up. – completed in Maine

Better done: Say sheila that, although you take care of her, you are no longer ready to be ready and watch how she tries to kill herself, because she did that. Tell her that you would like to continue talking to her, but only when she confronts her serious alcohol problem and started on the way to recovery. (Tell your daughter the same.) Sometimes an addicter has to hit the low point before realizing what your habit has cost.

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